Do Your Ears Hang Low?

No need to comment!  Definitely not my best angle.   Not my prettiest side.   I have to ask, does my ass look big? Yeah, thought so!  Oh well, the size of my posterior is not the point of my post so we’ll just let that worry go. Besides I’m sure it is  just  my winter coat thickening because there is no way more exercise can be added to my daily routine.    If I have to eat a little more pumpkin to slim down my physique so be it.

One look at this photo and I had an  epiphany.  I DO LOOK LIKE  A BEAR CUB.  If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times.  Sometimes people pick up their small dogs when they see me coming along a trail.  They chuckle and say…. ha  ha, just thought your little doggie there was a bear cub.  Yes, we walk our bears  in Telluride.  But really, amputate the  tail and they’re right--I’m a dead ringer for a baby bear.  Hiking just became a problem;  it’s hunting season. Just one glance at that  photo and  that old camp song started running though my head….do your ears hang low, can you swing them to and fro?

The equivalent for you would be humming that little ditty  when  suddenly  you see a mirror.  You scream, oh my God, my ears do hang low and Holy Cow I could tie them in a bow!  Well that is what happened when I saw that picture of myself.  I knew right then and there I need a vest, a bright orange (please don’t shoot me)  vest!  It could be a question of life or death. 

My good friend, Cowboy, wears one.  He lived in  Telluride  for years  and you would often  see him running along the River Trail  with a bright orange chest.  I thought he looked  interesting  (that would be kind talk for downright weird) but now it’s not seeming quite so silly.  His latest vest looks more reddish pink.  Guess he got tired of the road construction  look.

Since I’m a bit worried about this bear/hunting scenario, I dropped Cowboy a line to find out why he wears a vest every day of the year and how he felt about it.  He got back to me immediately and I thought it would be good  to share his note and photos with you. 

I am extremely clever with a specialty in camouflage. As you can see from the photos, especially the one on the beach, I can become practically invisible in nature. I have used this skill often to test my human companions. It gives me great pleasure to, say, stand under a bush quietly a few feet from them while they search frantically and call my name over and over and over and over again. It never gets old.

Thus the red vest. I am resigned to wearing it whenever I go outdoors. Some might call it embarrassing. I consider it a badge of honor; a recognition of my superior abilities in the field.

Look  what I get for protection.  Don’t they even love me?  I feel betrayed.  Sending me out in this makes me look like a stump in the forest with a bear head poking out from behind.  What on earth good is this?  Sure, I won’t get rained on but I’ll get shot! Ending up as a “dog skin” rug is not something on my bucket list.

Worrying about hunters is taking a toll on me.  My neck is killing me tonight.  During our morning  hike up to the river crossing for Silver Lake  my head constantly bobbed up and down while  on the lookout for hunters. How do I know where they are hiding?  How do I know what they  are thinking when they see a gorgeous furry 50 pound critter taking a drink  from a stream.  They might be thinking  stew!

One thing I’m really good at though is being bear aware.   I may be mistaken for a bear but I won’t get eaten by a bear. Every single poster Telluride puts up  about those  omnivores….I read.  Garbage pails are locked.  Foodstuffs are stowed.  No bird food hanging around my  patio.  I do my part.  What I don’t understand is why I’m responsible for scaring off bears with my teensy tiny little yellow bear bell.  I’ve heard that story  about  bear poop being  full of pepper spray and chewed up bear bells but I don’t think my owner has.  She doesn’t get out much.

Just one last thing?  Does my ass look big? 

See ya later.

 

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